Happy Halloween, from Mr. Mustache!

NO Bread this week

Imperial is NOT Twisted

I am no longer twisting the Imperial.  Why, you may ask? For some reason my new oven doesn’t always cook the center of the twisted Imperial as well as the non-twisted.  Another reason is that I’ve had a hard time cleaning the Imperial’s sticky goodness off of the drying racks.  By not twisting the Imperial, we can keep the stickiness in.  That stickiness saved is extra goodness for you. It might not look as fancy, but it’s more practical and hopefully, more consistently delicious.   Let me know what you think.   

A Story About Bread

 “Face it Cowboy, everybody thinks I’m the best.” Padre strongly states.  With a huff, Cowboy retorts, ”O really!  I was sold and loved before you were even made, Padre.” 

“But haven’t you noticed that I’m the one that gets ordered the most!”  Padre says with a smirk.  Cowboy sneers, “You’re just a knock off of Sourdough Sam.”  Sourdough Sam  considers getting involved in the scuffle, but thinks to himself, “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”

 “You’re just jealous, Cowboy, because I’m the perfect bread.  I’m made with an expensive blend of cheeses, including aged Parmesan.  I’m baked in a steamed oven.  I’m refined.  I have European flare.”

 Cowboy says in a harsh tone, “Stop.  Stop.  Stop.  I’m soft and chewy.  You’re hard and rough.  Enough said.”

Mr. Mustache Classic, snuggled up in his afghan, says with a kind old smile, “Children, settle down.  All breads have their advantages and their disadvantages.  We are all loved and respected.  We all have our own unique characteristics, but whole wheat bread is the best.”  

Any of you want to get  involved?  Which is your favorite cheese bread? 

Special Requests

Special Requests I can’t do:

1.     I will not make your bread into a bomb (so quit asking).

2.     For those of you who can’t have gluten, I am very sorry, but I cannot produce gluten-free bread inexpensively or with the same quality as my normal breads.  Also, I am not interested in specializing in gluten-free.  Therefore, after many attempts, I am saying no to gluten-free baking.

Special Requests I can do:

1.     The classic request:  I can make a loaf of Imperial bread without raisins.

2.     I can make a Sourdough Sam yeast-free.

3.     The Padre with peppers is only available if you sign a contract saying that you will not sue Mr. Mustache for making bread too good or too spicy.

4.     I can make a vegan bread using almost all whole wheat flour.   Here is how one customer described it:

   “We love the whole wheat Bumpkin bread.  It is fabulous!  It has an excellent texture that feels rich and chewy when you bite into it.  This bread also makes wonderful toast.  The outside gets warm and crispy and the inside remains soft and almost cake-like.  Very delicious!” 

(I wish I could write this well!)

If you have any more ideas, I would be happy to give it a try.

Brown Bread

 Last week, I took some time off to do a few experiments in the bakery and to  work up a new bread.  The new bread is simply called Brown Bread.  It is made with a dark lager beer and tangy buttermilk.  I add whole-wheat flour and bran.  It taste good, and it’s also good for you. It is a smaller loaf than other Mr. Mustache loaves because it is expensive to make.  I live in a family of seven, and we each get one really generous slice from it and then the loaf is almost gone.  Think quality, not quantity.  Too much quantity makes a person unhealthy, but too much quality?  There is no such thing!

This bread is good with soup.  It’s good with a fancy dinner.  Really, just take a loaf and spread it with butter and there’s a sensational meal!

Speaking of butter…………

Brown Bread comes with whipped honey butter.  Honey butter is AMAZING!   I’m having a hard time describing it because nothing I can say does it justice. 

Try it, and you will know what I am talking about.

  The honey butter is chilled in the freezer before I deliver my bread.  You don’t need to worry about rushing home.   It comes in a 2-ounce portion.   It is just enough for this size loaf. 

Brown Bread is based on Irish breads.  It is a different kind of bread than my other breads.  Welcome Mr. Brown Bread to the bakery of Mr. Mustache!

Apple Cores and Chocolate Cubs

Cubs and Cores are mini-breads.  The Core is a small loaf of Apple Bread and the Cub is a small loaf of Chocolate Black Bear.  They sell for $1.50 each.  I made these in response to my customers.  Many of you told me you didn't like buying a whole loaf of dessert bread because the temptation was too great!  Cubs and Cores are the perfect solution.  Eat them up; it's ok.

It's ok to complain..........

You get your nicely wrapped loaf of Mr. Mustache bread and drool over it all afternoon.  You know you should wait, but you just can’t.   You give into temptation and unwrap your bread.  You take a tiny piece and quickly stick it into your mouth.  But then the unexpected happens, the bread taste funny.  Your Imperial Cinnamon Raisin tastes cheesy with a hint of cinnamon!  What do you do?  My advice is this: Call Mr. Mustache.

I have been baking bread for almost one year, and I've never received a single complaint.  I find it hard to believe that somewhere along the way I haven’t made a mistake.  I think that because I am a kid people don’t want to hurt my feelings, but I'm running a business and I take it seriously.   I may go in my room and cry for a bit (just kidding), but please tell me my mistakes so that I can learn from them.

So if your bread explodes, or if you get a loaf of sourdough and it is too heavy to lift, or if you open your bread wrappings and the bread explodes in your face, please let Mr. Mustache know.   I will make you a new loaf.